


Gimme A Pizza Dat Ass

by Cant_We_Just_Dance, nightshiftblues



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Grinding, M/M, Other, Pizza, Salami, Sex, breaking in - Freeform, kinda????, plot twist??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 10:52:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13522716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cant_We_Just_Dance/pseuds/Cant_We_Just_Dance, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightshiftblues/pseuds/nightshiftblues
Summary: You read the title, you saw the tags- you know exactly what this is, and if you can't handle the founding fathers getting it on when one of them is a pizza, then you're a better soul than I.





	Gimme A Pizza Dat Ass

“Oh my goodness!” Alexander exclaimed melodramatically, his abs glistening in the low light of the neon signs. ‘Closed’ read the sign on the front door, taunting him in its simplicity. But he knew- there were no cameras or alarms. So he punched a hole through the glass window and crawled through, grunting as he fell to the floor. “Good thing I’m all alone in here.”

"Guess again, bitch," said an ominous, yet peculiarly sexy voice from the darkest corner of the emptied out pizzeria.

“What?” Alexander gasped, hiding his inexplicable boner. “Who’s there?”

A giant, circular figure stepped into the ray of yellow street light falling in from the hole Alex had previously punched into the window. "Why, it's the thing that you came here for. Isn't that right?"

“Wh-What are you?” Alexander asked in fear, arousal, and slight hunger.

"A family-size salami with extra cheese," he says, his voice low and anticipatory.

“Use that salami...” Alexander pleaded, taking off his pants and spreading his legs. “Use it!”

Thomas crossed the floor in three long, purposeful strides (an impressive fit considering he was virtually blind) and loomed over Alex. "Can you pay?"

“Only with my body...” Alexander admitted shamefully, averting his gaze from that of the steaming hot pizza.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Thomas said and rubbed against Alexander's glistening abs appreciatively.

“But how will the Big Salami fit without... the oil?” Alexander asked as he rubbed his abs up against the greasy front of the sex god before him.

Thomas chuckled and the top of the pizza bent into a nod. "You puny humans and your inability to handle the Salami. I suppose you will have to use the oil, then." He gestured to a bottle that was very conveniently placed on a nearby table.

“Oh, you sexy monstrosity!” Alexander exclaimed, leaning back against the ground. “Take me now!”

The Pizza knelt down between Alexander's spread legs, overtaken by an overwhelming desire to ravage this sexy little pizzeria burglar.

Alexander moaned softly, wrapping his legs around the crust and bucked his hips eagerly.

Doing his best not to smother and instantly kill his partner, Thomas grunted contentedly and ground down against the man lying under him.

“Oh, you sexy pizza, I’m not sure if I can hold back!” Alexander moaned, desperately grinding against him.

"Then don't," Thomas gasped, sweat slicking the movements of his crust sliding against Alexander's hips.

“A-Ah- _Pizza!_ ” Alexander screamed as he came, cum blasting all over the cheese.

The sight of the satisfied customer tipped Thomas over the edge and he also came with a breathless cry, adding to the mess on the cheddar.

Alexander panted heavily as he came down from his high, legs and torso sticky with cheese and grease. He sat up and looked directly into the camera, putting a cheesy smile on his face. “ _Come_  on down to Luigi’s Pizza! Guaranteed to satisfy every time.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I hate this, too.


End file.
